2010 was horrible, 2011 seemed horrible. All throughout 2011 thus far i didn’t know when my job would end but i knew it would. It was extended by a month then by 3 more weeks then another week and i would find out 5 minutes before leaving my last shift. Then 28th Feb it did actually end. Bad times. Also since January we had set up our business but didn’t know if we could operate because i had my camera setup and my friends had editing stuff but that wasn’t enough, it would vastly limit our work options. During the process of applying for a business loan our application got lost. Had to apply again. Finally got this sorted after delays and we were granted the amount we required. Excellent. So we bought the other camera for my colleague (and good friend :) ) got an over priced but useful big bastard shoulder mount which looks a bit awesome and got 2 sets of lights. Motherfucker :) Plus sound and all the little bits we needed and now we’re ready to operate with a few jobs already on the way. The next thing, my friend from Lincoln and business partner was moving here so we decided the 3 of us would look for a house. We looked at a few, some people didn’t bother turning up for us, twats. And applied for the one we most wanted, jolly good. Through paperwork delays and now a broken boiler we still haven’t moved out. Now when it comes to money, i’m very proud. I never borrow money (although i do lend it out) and i like to pay my way. My friends agreed that i would live with them rent free and work a lot on the business, which i’ve felt shit about for weeks, physically ill, coz im happy to do the work but to be living off my friends while they struggle with the money is a horrible feeling for me. On Sunday i had an interview at the cinema (didn’t take me on just over a year ago, a sore point at the time as i had been unemployed long term. This interview i really needed because being self employed but not earning, i couldnt claim benefits (which i hate doing anyway). So i had my interview which i felt i did very well in the group but also knew there was strong competition. Watching Liverpool/Man Utd game, thanks Liverpool for brightening my day :) and i got a call at half time offering me the job. So after being stressed aand worrying for 2011, i had one amazingly good feeling day thanks to my football team and a job and im chilled and happy now. No worrying, looking forward to everything and being generous with my money before i’ve bloody earned it haha.

I put this on here rather than facebook because i’ve known fora couple of years how it hurts to read good things about other ppl when its not happening for you. Ive had my shareof hard times despite all my efforts and i deserve this and i’m dead happy. Should be moving out in about a weeks time, yay.

God help me if i ever get rich but i imagine i’d celebrate big time.

Watched Inception again yesterday which was amazing again. Today i’ve watched the blu ray extras. A cool documentary about dreams. I like how Paul McCartney wrote Yesterday in a dream. I’ve played guitar riffs in dreams and then played them in real life and they don’t sound quite as good, booo. I’ve always liked dreams though, not had one for a while, i think its because my mind has been active enough when i’m awake with games or films n stuff. It is weird but great when you realise you are in a dream and can make decisions in them (Lucid dreams) i just wish i could force myself to have memorable dreams every night, of course we do dream every night. I actually wrote down an idea for a short involving dreams over a year ago which i will still write properly but everyone would think i was influenced by Inception. Its nothing like inception because the dreams and reality or distorted whereas you are aware that the characters are aware in Inception, that they are in a dream. Going to watch Leon again tonight, another good film albeit slightly disturbing dialogue in parts between Mathilda and Leon. You can see in that, that Natalie Portman showed potential to be a good actress.

On another note, its my last week in work ths week, so i’m facing the job centre again, joy. That’s if i can claim considering i’ll be self employed soon. I’ve heard about a 16 week claim thing for when your starting self eomployment so i’ll have to look into that. Still got some filmy things to do shortly although not paid. One school thingy which will help for promotional material for Vanguard and a music video in London in a nightclub which should be fun when its arranged. Not much around to apply for at the moment on film job listing websites, mostly in London. I have got 1 or 2 strong ideas i want to make for festivals/competitions this year which shold be good. Gonna have to rent lights though coz i need a 2.5/3k some small lights and some kino flos. Got some nice shots to light. It’ll be difficult finding older actors though so i may have to rejig some story, although i think its more believable if you can get the age of actors you want. Back to Inception, filmmakers usually say you can’t control the sun. On a huge budget you can, Wally Pfister and his crew in Inception created rain and overcast over two blocks of buildings for the scenes in the city. Pretty amazing, and to create their own rain. It was cool seeing things being filmed in the extras coz i’d read about it and seen the stills in my American Cinematography magazine about how it was lit and filmed. It would be amazing to work on such a big film.

I’m going to stop rambling my thoughts now as i was supposed to have a shower but sat to type this instead. Didn’t think i’d ever use a blog but i guess i like doing so.

“A dream is as real as it gets until the end, Can we say any more about life”

So a friend suggested i start a tumblr blog. I’d heard of it but never checked it out. I figured its not a bad idea. I get to share my ideas and thoughts with the people i choose to share with. Yes you in my following list :) So heres my first thought.

I enjoyed Black Swan today. NO SPOILERS BUT MAYBE HINTS SO YOU DONT HAVE TO READ THIS BIT I read about it in American Cinematography first so it was funny seeing some scenes as sets because i knew how it had been lit. Which for me is fun, i love cinematography, it makes films worth watching again and again if a story is lacking (not that this was). If you know the story of Swan Lake then this won’t come to any surprise to you. There were parts that were a bit predictable but it was still an enjoyable film. It was erotic without being perverted which i thought worked well and Natalie Portman was good in it. I still find it odd to watch her having enjoyed watching Leon many times. Shes a god crying actor but it always reminds me of when she was a child in Leon crying. Unusal character that one but a great film. But back to Black Swan. I don’t think Mila Kunis’ character was in it that much to be honest even though she was an important character, or maybe it was that it took a while for her to get more involved. There were particular parts which could have ruined it, had they been used in a different context but they did not so i was relieved. Certain things which were used in her dillusions would have been crazy if they actually happened but fit well as symbolic ideas. Case 39 (film) bugged me. That started off well as an usual case with a child and then went stupid with crappy horror FX like a lot of films use nowadays. Black Swan didn’t go over the top with FX.

I would recommend Black Swan. It isn’t a ballet film, it is a character film (my favourite type to be honest, i love character based films) add some nice cinematography and you’ve got a great film. The Direction was good but not outstanding. I know of Aronofskys work but i’ve only watched a couple of films. You could see he had worked with the actors a lot and had a ‘look’ to the film but i didn’t feel his shot choices helped the story. Matthew Libatique’s work was good though. He gave it a ‘look’ himself with some nice lighting of dark scenes. I hope the blu ray has some good features. Discs need to talk more with cinematographers, theres so many special features on discs for general audiences that touch on the filmmaking experience that it would be good to talk to crew more for the filmmaking audience.

On a final note, i’ve been enjoying classical music this evening. Listened to my ClassicFm at the Movies which was great. ‘Prophecy’ from the LOTR gives me chills everytime, its an amazing piece. Then i listened to Paganin’s Violin Concertos.